Tai: Well Luis, I'm glad you might take my words to heart, and very amused that you did the same with my antics. Really Luis, you are such a dear innocent - nearly as innocent as the Pink Princess. Rather fitting that you are also blatantly in love with her. But we'll talk more about that later.
Tai: Your very reaction to me proves that you are very deeply trapped in your box, Luis. You are a writer, and a writer needs to absorb experience like a sponge - not pop an umbrella the minute rain falls.
Tai: No, I'm not saying that you should have a passionate gay affair - goodness gracious Luis sexuality is only one form of adventure in life there are plenty others you can embrace and grow from. However, I will say that in the future if another man flirts with you don't panic. Just graciously refuse and accept the compliment - because that's what a flirt is; someone saying to you "I find you attractive and would like to let you know." A gay man is no more likely to force his attentions on you, then you are likely to force your attentions on the Pink Princess. In other words - you're safe.
Tai: As for your writer's block, your lack of inspiration - Luis, my friend...open your eyes!
Tai: You live in a house with a confimed sociopath, his control freak sister, the ultimate "innocent soul" (and her cat), one undead man, his child minion, three other demons (one of whom speaks incoherently), a cross-dressing girly boy who I'm not sure is human, other children of unknown origin and that ominous editor of yours. All that and you CAN'T find inspiration to write????
Tai: Don't panic, I'm just getting comfortable.
Tai: Now Luis, I realize I'm not qualified to give advice about women - but you'd be surprised how similar relationships can be, no matter what gender the partners are. I expect you are too noble to want to compete with your editor or perhaps insecure enough to not want to suffer rejection if you declare your love, but you need to pull those cotton candy colored blinders away from your eyes and take a hard look at what is going on.
Tai: Because no matter what happens this weekend when she meets her beloved V again, the Pink Princess is in deep, deep trouble and she is going to need you to be there as her friend more than anything else.
Tai: *whispers* I mean, Luis, friend, I'm GAY and even I can add up 1 + 1 and get two? Flu-like symptoms...fatigue...a history of "comforting friends" in an intimate manner.
Tai: *whispers* Hit the internet my friend. Look the symptoms up. Keep your eyes on the region that she won't be able to hide in a few more months.
Tai: *back to normal voice* And for the love of God start writing something. Unless you really enjoy telling people that putting their poodle in the microwave is not proper usage of the equipment and should be discouraged at all costs.
Tai: And note - per your request I left my shirt on, even though you had yours off which was very naughty and teasing as well (get some sun though - you are too pale). However, I cannot resist teaching you one very valuable lesson for a writer, my friend. Always, always think out all the implications of what you are not saying as much as what you are saying unless you want to be taken advantage of.
Tai: I kept my shirt on, but you didn't say anything about my pants. *blows a kiss*
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