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Friday, April 24, 2015

177a. 7/11.... Cora to Tai..

by lovelovekitty on Wed Apr 23, 2008 10:29 pm


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Cora: Tai... thank you for messaging me. Your advice is always valuable to me - so many things you say ring true. But right now it's so hard for me to figure out how I feel and what is going on in my head...

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Cora: I want to love Dru. I want to give him a chance... it's funny because I used to joke about running off with him to try to tease V and make him jealous.. and now it seems like I kind of have the chance. Dru has been so sweet and kind to me.. he really is special. I'm honored by his attentions to me.

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Cora: *takes off her hood* As for Bhudo... what I'm doing to him isn't fair. This is a terrible thing.. it's the same thing V has been doing to me for five years. It's not fair what I'm doing to him.. but I don't want to tell him I love him and then have it not be true... It's so unfair... I can't help but feel like a terrible person about all of this...

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Cora: Why does it have to be so hard? Why isn't love just a simple yes or no? My heart wants to give.. but fear is holding me back. Bhudo, Dru, and V are so wonderful... I don't feel deserving of any kind of attention I recieve from them. I don't want to be a disappointment. I've asked Eden to let me leave... to go to Bhudo who I know is ill. She will not let me. I don't know why, but I've learned to trust her....

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Cora: This whole thing is breaking my heart... I just need to figure things out... I just need time... but it sickens me to say these things when I have known these are V's reasons for his silence these five very long years... It makes me a hypocrite. I suppose really that is all that I am.... I hope to hear back from you soon, your advice is very precious to me. Take care of yourself and Naoki, byebye.

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