Tai: (For once he is not smiling, nor is there the familiar laughing tones to his voice. Tai is quite visibily serious) Before I address some of the issues in your message to me Luis, there is someone here who wants to explain something to you since you choose to believe I was lying.
Tai: Naoki.
(a very sheepish looking Naoki sits before the camera. He doesn't look at it, but it's clear from his body language and expression it is because he is ashamed of himself, and embarrassed).
Naoki: Na'ki say very sorry Luis. Ask please forgive. Not mean to hurt Luis.
Naoki: Tai say truth; Na'ki play with cam'ra. Push button, make pretty light flash. Na'ki not know cam'ra show Tai butt on in..in...inranet.
Naoki: Na'ki hide Tai unnerpant. Is Na'ki bad you see Tai butt. Is true. Tai not lie to Luis.
Naoki: Tai say Na'ki must wear pants. Na'ki hate pants, take off and hide. Tai angry with Na'ki for let Luis see no pants. Na'ki very sorry do this. Not do again. Na'ki wear pants now, be good.
Tai: Thank you, Naoki. That was very brave and good of you. Don't think I forced him to do this or fed him lines, Luis. Naoki, unlike a certain plant baby, does not mimic - he understand what he's saying; he just doesn't always have all the words yet. I've forgiven him because he didn't realize what would happen, it was innocent fun in his eyes. I hope you will forgive him too.
Naoki: Please forgive, Luis.
Tai: I'm sure he will.
(Tai gives Naoki a quick hug, then let's him escape)
Tai: You have an extra reason to forgive Naoki, by the way. You see he inadvertently extracted the perfect revenge for my teasing you. Contrary to what you may think, I am not a public exhibitionist. My ass getting plastered all over YouTube, and now probably every pay-to-click porn pirate on the web is going to cause me more trouble and grief than you could possibly comprehend. Why? One easy word: Parents.
Tai: Not that my father will be traumatized or anything - no, he'll just show off that nasty half-jap faggot son of his to his testosterone overloaded straight buddies and probably recommend that if they ever see me they should just help themselves to a piece of the real thing, since everyone else has. Well, in his mind. My mother, on the other hand, will be the real kicker. You think Jewish mothers can lay a guilt trip? Well they have nothing on a traditional Japanese mother.
By tomorrow morning she will have somehow seen it...probably thanks to one of her numerous friends who live to one-up their buddies by proving their own children are superior. She will then call me and cry. Not a little crying mind you, but copious earth shattering weeping that would move the rock of gibralter if it had ears to hear it with. She will intersperse this weeping with self-recriminations about what she did wrong to make me this way and then frost it all with the sugary icing of how I have shamed our family and ancestors back to the days of the first Yamato Emperor. By the time the call is over I will have been forced to agree not just to return to Japan and humble myself in front of her in abject humility. Oh no, I will also be forced to agree to give her one more chance at turning me into a real "Japanese Man".
Do you have any idea what that means, Luis? It means I will have to wear a fucking SUIT while attending dinner parties probably thrown by the same smirking old bitch that showed her the YouTube video in the first place. Then I will have to endure not one, not two, not even three - but probably well over one dozen omiai - also known as arranged marriage meetings! That's right, I'll have to meet one after another of simpering, spineless doll-like japanese girls who want nothing more in life than to marry a man and have his baby. And telling them I'm gay won't help - hell no - that will probably make them want me more. After all, there is nothing more romantic in the eyes of a star-struck Japanese virgin than the chance to make a gay man see the light! If I am not a raving drooling idiot by the time it's all over, it will be a miracle.
So be happy Luis, your revenge is at hand. Though not so deserved as you believe. Sure, I won't lie and say there hasn't been an element of fun in trying to see what it would take to push your buttons further and further, but I did have a reason for it that had nothing to do with any sort of personal entertainment value.
But you know what? The best question you've ever asked is why I care about helping you with your writer's block. You wanna know the truth? Well I'm damned if I really know, OK?? Maybe it's just because I heard about you from Lachlan the way I heard about all the other residents of that freakshow and I thought - geez, now there is a perfectly normal guy who must have something creative in him or he would have run screaming out of that place hours after arriving. Sounds like he needs to just have more confidence in himself - assert himself more.
It was kind of evident though, that just saying that to you wouldn't work. Nope, you are really really good at avoiding and evading when you hear things that aren't entirely palatable to you. So I started poking you with a big stick because everyone knows that even a rabbit will find it's courage and turn to attack eventually if it's prodded enough.
Congratulations, Luis. You aren't a rabbit anymore. You have just declared yourself a man confident enough to bite back and say what is on his mind regardless. I won't tease you anymore, because I accomplished what I wanted to do. Now just keep that determination and apply it to everything!
As for Cora...I've always known from the beginning that you weren't like any of the other men around that place. You're too much the gentleman to take advantage of her and one of the few living there that care about her for her sake, and not just for what she can give you. Why the hell do you think I was so pissed off at you when you ran away at her pregnancy?? Do you know what those bastards said to her?? The only real man in the bunch was Xerxes - and hell, you know what kind of irony that is.
As for this Dru fellow...I wouldn't worry much...I honestly believe Cora likes him well enough, but it's not love no matter how hard they try. Hell, even Cora, who has an enormous capacity for caring and love, is not going to fall head-over-heels with that many guys at once!
Besides, being her friend isn't all that bad of a thing is it? That's all I am...of course me, being me, that's all I want to be anyway. You can hate me if you want, Luis, but understand that I have never lied to you and I have been trying to help, even if my methods seem unorthodox. I need to go now, I can hear the Jenny girls going after Naoki...little tramps are constantly talking him out of his pants and then pouncing him :angry:
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